


this is our end, may we meet again

by EllaYuki



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 20:09:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13131222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaYuki/pseuds/EllaYuki
Summary: arthur is dead and merlin’s heart shatters into a million pieces that he doesn’t think will ever heal.a/n: because it’s been five years and i am still not over it





	this is our end, may we meet again

**Author's Note:**

> The lack of capital letters is INTENTIONAL. All fics written by me in 2017 are like that, so if that puts you off, I'm sorry and you are more than welcome to back out now. 
> 
> (AKA: Please STOP MENTIONING IT, it will NOT change. Thank you.)

arthur closes his eyes one final time and merlin can feel what’s left of his broken heart shatter beyond all repair, despair gripping his hear like a vice in spite of kilgarrah’s words that one day his kind would return.

arthur will return, the dragon had said, when albion needs him most, but merlin can’t, for the life of him, find comfort in that. not now, at least. and who knows about the future.

for all he knows, in a century, in a millennium, there won’t even be an albion for arthur to return to.

preparing arthur’s body for his funeral is the most difficult thing he’s _ever_ done, and he’s done it before, for his father and his childhood friend and the first girl he ever really loved. the boat isn’t good enough, there are no flowers, nothing to adorn it and merlin cannot muster the bit of magic needed to summon some, not in his current emotional state.

he whispers a prayer for arthur’s soul as he sends the boat sailing, almost breaking down in the process, and he can do nothing but watch as the mists of avalon surround and swallow and claim Arthur, taking him to his final resting place.

he thinks of gwen for a moment, strong, gentle gwen who will have to rule camelot on her own from now on, and merlin thinks that if there’s anyone who understands his pain, his heartbreak, it’s her. still he cannot return to camelot, not with arthur gone, not when every single corner of that place reminds him of his loss and of his failure.

he looks towards the waters for minutes and hours and eons, it feels, foolishly hoping for a miracle that he knows will never occur.

it’s only percival’s arrival that pulls him out of his grief, if only for the moments it takes him to tell the knight of the king’s passing, of morgana’s defeat, and to learn of gwaine’s death. (and that’s an entirely different sort of pain that he might never be able to bury.) after that, they go their separate ways, parting like the grieving comrades that they are, and wishing each other well.

‘where will you go?’ percival asks, understanding.

‘i don’t know. ealdor, maybe? i haven’t seen my mother in a while,’ merlin shrugs after a moment’s thought.

‘i hope we cross paths again some day, merlin’ percial tells him, and merlin feels a small, rueful smile creep on his face. (he didn’t think he could ever smile again.)

‘maybe,’ he says. and, ‘take care of gwen. and please, tell her i’m sorry.’ his chest contracts, and it’s hard to breathe, but he does anyway.

percival, claps him on the back. ‘goodbye, merlin,’ he says, and that’s is the last time merlin ever see him.

~

when he gets home, his mother takes one look at him and hugs him something fierce.

and that night, merlin cries his heart out, head in hunith’s lap, like he hasn’t let himself since mordred’s blade pierced arthur and merlin had been unable to save the one person that mattered most in his life. he cries and he cries and he cries, he rages to the fates and cries some more.

and in the morning, his waiting starts.


End file.
